


This could be us, but you playing

by stopthismiracle



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Infidelity, M/M, Muteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stopthismiracle/pseuds/stopthismiracle
Summary: Kyungsoo is confused about all the things that happened yesterday.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted in asianfanfics ü. Have fun reading.

After that night everything was blurry, everything was torn apart, probably his face was red by now. All the shame he went through meant nothing. At least that was what he though. He looked at his hand looking for an explanation, ‘why?’ he repeated himself, ‘why is everything like this? Why is he like this?’. In the back of his head the laughter of that boy makes him feel nauseated. He hides his hand waiting for everything to calm down. He closes his eyes and waits for the day to disappear.

When the morning came a huge headache wake up with him. He’s holding his head with a hand while the other is looking for his glasses on his bedside table, he puts his glasses scrunching his eyes, one, two, three times waiting to adjust. He gets up from the bed slowly, looks himself in the large mirror that covers his room door, and hates himself a little. Taking his towel, he gets out the room to start the day.

 

While in the shower he always thinks about his life, except this time. He doesn’t want to think. Not this time.

 

When he’s getting out of his house, he doesn’t expect to see him. He’s shocked with his keys on his hands. Open mouthed. Jongin looks troubled.

He quickly recovered his composure. He went pass through him, he didn’t want to deal with him yet. In his mind he had at least 40 minutes to deal with him. Why was he on his door? Waiting for him, why he looked so bad? Like he hasn’t sleep in ages and the weight of the world was upon his shoulders, or something like that. He also didn’t expect for Jongin to take his arm to stop him. Kyungsoo looked at him with eyes wide open and knitted brows. Everything was confusing.

Yesterday was Jongin declaring his love for him in the morning, while in the afternoon he was kissing some random (well, it wasn’t that random, he wanted to think like this) girl in the school’s court field. While all the school was looking. Kyungsoo wanted to kill himself right in the moment because how was he so stupid? Of course everything was a lie. There was no way Jongin, his best friend forever would look at him that way? Was it?

Jongin looked sadder. Kyungsoo didn’t know what to say. Jongin did but words didn’t come out. Maybe it wasn’t the time just yet.

 

The scene passed slowly while Kyungsoo got himself free, he kept his way to school while not looking back. Jongin didn’t go to school that day. Kyungsoo didn’t pay attention to all his classes.

 

At school all the boys bullied him. But he was used to it. Everybody knew he was gay. They found put when he was in 6th grade. His school was the only one in the town. It was obvious that everybody knew. That didn’t mean they would accept him with the time. No. it was a small town after all. Jongin was different, he lived almost all his life in Seoul (the fricking holy big capital), so he found out he didn’t make a huge deal about. ‘So what?’ was all that he said.

Kyungsoo ditched his last class. He didn’t want to be at the school anymore. It was suffocating. He jumped the walls of his school while hoping to none saw him. The he just ran.

 

He ran for a while, and only stopped when he found himself outside Jongin’s house. He wanted an explanation, now.

Jongin’s mother received him happily, telling him Jongin was in the field with the horses. Horses? Yes, this was a rural town, Kyungsoo himself had a couple of chicken and hens at his house. His family wasn’t rich enough to get more than one horse, but Jongin had more. Like ten. So yes you can imagine where this go.

He walked confidently to the barn. He could see Jongin brushing the hair of horse from outside. He tried to be quiet, but the horses started to neigh when he put a foot in the barn. How much life hated him? Jongin came out and looked at him. Not as troubled as in the morning. Kyungsoo was frozen at the sound of the horse. Suddenly Jongin was in front of him.

In a blink of an eye they were kissing. Not softly. It was filled with rage, despair, and other emotions. Jongin took deep breath between kisses, Kyungsoo didn’t know what he was doing. It was his first time.

‘Come inside someone can see us’ It was the firsts words that came out from Jongin’s mouth. Kyungsoo didn’t know what to do and just complied. 

Then everything was blurry. He didn’t know how his clothes disappeared. Or how he suddenly was brave enough to kiss Jongin’s penis. It was all the rush of the moment. He looked at Jongin’s eyes when he stopped his ministrations and saw something that maybe he wanted, and maybe he didn’t. It was confusing to see how your one-side love ended. Or maybe he was just horny.

It didn’t take them so long to end. Exhausted Kyungsoo closed his eyes. Jongin was holding him while trying to cover them. He knew staying at the barn wasn’t a good idea. But waking up Kyungsoo wasn’t either.

So he waited ‘til Kyungsoo gained some conscious back. His glasses were long forgotten at the entrance of the barn, just as his headache.

‘I think I owe you an explanation’ He said. ‘I wasn’t planning this; I didn’t go to your house this morning with this intention’. Kyungsoo was looking at him expressionless. ‘I know you saw yesterday… with Soojung. I was going to say to you this before, but I couldn’t find the right time’.

Kyungsoo moved his hand rapidly. ‘What do you mean?’

‘She and I had been dating for months… our parents, made some kind of compromise. We are supposed to get married when I come back from the army’ He could see Kyungsoo break in that moment. He moved his hand vigorously. He was mad. ‘I know, I know’ Jongin tried to calm him down. ‘But how am I supposed to tell you this? I can’t run away! And I can’t lose you either!’

‘You just don’t want to lose anything!’ Kyungsoo told him. He was mute but he wasn’t stupid. He got up quickly searching his clothes. He never felt so much frustration in his life. In the back, Jongin was still trying to explain the inexplicable. Before leaving Kyungsoo told him ‘Don’t come crying to me when you regret your choices, you already choose her’

Once dressed he went out of the barn running. Ignoring Jongin calling his name. Maybe today wasn’t the day to deal with this. Maybe tomorrow maybe never. When he arrived to his house there was a school boy sitting in his front door. Oh Sehun was his name. A lanky kid, he was younger than him (just like all his classmates, he held a year behind because his teachers were ignorant about his condition). Oh Sehun had flowers in his hands. Interesting.

‘This is for you… you know, you don’t have to worry about Jongin, he’s… well, we all knew you liked him, he’s just stupid. I didn’t know if you liked flowers… so I just picked some randomly in the neighbor’s yard. Sorry I’m speaking nonsense. Would you go on a date with me?’

‘What?!’ Kyungsoo was shocked. He didn’t even know if this kid knew sign language so he took his cellphone out and typed.

‘I understood half of what you said. But you’re cute anyways. Thanks for the flowers, I would look after them. I can’t go on date with you now ‘cause...’

He paused and breathed.

 

Why he couldn’t?

 

He looked at Sehun who was waiting for Kyungsoo to end typing.

 

‘Fuck it’ He thought.

 

He took 2 steps and closed the gap between them. He kissed him softly. Nothing mattered anymore. Maybe this lanky kid was his way of dealing with Jongin. Even if it was a horrible way to do it. Maybe he would end up falling in love Sehun, who knows?

Maybe Jongin was just a phase. Maybe Jongin was forever (even if that implied hidden agendas from both sides). Maybe he was just using Sehun to no make himself a loser in this story. Who knows?

He knew.

Because when he closed his eyes, he only saw Jongin. And deep inside he knew if Jongin asked for it, he would have sex with him again. Even if he didn’t.


End file.
